


Next Time Just Keep Quiet And Mind Your Business

by RaccoonOfChaos



Series: Serial Messiness [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Divergence, Explicit Language, Gen, Gender or Sex Swap, Humor, Rule 63
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-22
Updated: 2017-03-22
Packaged: 2018-10-09 09:49:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10409436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaccoonOfChaos/pseuds/RaccoonOfChaos
Summary: Old wounds take time to heal, even longer if you keep picking at them. Even LONGER if you let your anger fly off the handle at one little remark, Kageyama!





	

**Author's Note:**

> Only half the characters in this one shot are genderbent:  
> Karasuno  
> Johzenji  
> Fukurodani
> 
> The other teams are as they are in canon.  
> Also note that I imply in this fic that Kageyamas old team at Kitagawa was a co-ed team, so it was a mix of boys and girls.

The Karasuno volleyball club bus began to slow as it approached the devil’s den. The sky scraping white structures loomed menacingly around them, glowing brightly and blindingly. It was as if the buildings themselves were mocking the rugged, dark crows with its elegance as they entered the domain. There was not one smile on the bus; each face sporting a pained, agitated, scowl as they disembarked the bus. The fresh, pristine atmosphere was nauseating, the cheerful, high and mighty prep schoolers were an obscene eyesore. The all black attire of the crows fit more than perfectly with their intense auras.  
“Alright, guys. Let’s get moving.” Daichi hoisted her duffle bag over her shoulder and began to storm off in the direction of the nearest building, her captain-ly aura almost tangible in the air.  
“Wrong, the gym is this way, Daichi.” Sugawara corrected her after already leading the rest off in the other direction. With all the buildings looking primarily the same, it was easy to get lost. Daichi hurried to catch up to her team and took her spot at the front, leading them beside Sugawara. She cleared her throat and tried to regain her train of thought.  
“Um, anyway, I want all of you to be on your A game when we play blue castle today, understood?” she asked, almost demanded. A chorus of hums and “okay”’s played back at her. “Don’t let them intimidate you. They may be an all boys team, but we’ve played them before and I know we as a team can take anything they dish out on us.” the same chorus of hums and “yeah”’s were reprised back to her, this time though with more fervor. “But at the same time…” she paused in speech and motion. The rest stopped abruptly behind her. She turned to face her gaggle of miscreants with a stern, parental air. “I want all of you on your best. Behavior! No picking fights…” she shot a glare pointedly at Tanaka who jolted and looked away, grumbling. “Keep sly comments to a minimum…” her eyes then shot over to Tsukishima who also avoided eye contact. “A for the love of God, just don’t do anything that’ll get us a reputation.” she finished with a sigh and stared her team down with a more pleading expression. They reluctantly nodded. Daichi sighed once again and turned to continue their trek towards the designated gymnasium.  
As the team marched on they came across a couple of other teams who were also here to play practice matches. Aobajohsai, for the first time, became the host school of a small mock tournament, including several schools even from other prefectures. From where they were they could make out Date Tech boy’s volleyball club making their way off of their bus, in high spirits, their laughter and chatter could just be heard a few meters away.  
“Hey! Aone-kun!” Hinata piped up, bouncing behind her team before taking off like a rocket toward the Date Tech team. She bounced up and down reaching over his 2m head like an excited puppy.  
“You dumbass! We have to get to the gym, get your ass back over here!” Kageyama barked at her and began storming over to drag her back.  
“I’m so excited to play your team again! I’ve gotten a lot stronger since last time, you’ll see! I won’t be going easy on you, Aone-kun!” she cheered, waving her arms around and beaming like the sun. A soft blush dusted over Aone’s stone face; Unable to come up with a verbal response he gave an agreeing grunt and bowed at her before following his team toward the gym, a small smile creeping on his face. By that time Hinata was being physically dragged back to her team by the collar of her jacket, kicking and protesting. She dropped Hinata roughly as they approached the doors, making her stumble and almost fall. “Jeez! What’s your problem, Kageyama!” Hinata scowled at her partner, crossing her arms and trying to look as scary as possible. However, Kageyama had her beat in that department, with one blood curdling glare Hinata recoiled and put her fists up in defense.  
Inside the gym there teams already warming up on separate nets. The blue castle team congregated at the middle net, doing stretches and practice tosses. On the far right net, Nekoma and Johzenji were doing the same. As soon as the red of Nekoma’s uniform was reflected in Hinata’s big, sparkling eyes, she off once again like a bullet. Kageyama wasn’t fast enough to catch her by the collar again and within a second was on the other side of the gym squealing and bouncing up and down at their setter. The other members of their team didn’t seem to mind at all.  
“Let her catch up with her friends for a bit, we’ll start warming up now and she can join us when she’s done. Their match is probably going to start soon anyway. Kageyama gave one last eye roll glance at Hinata conversing so passionately with another team. As she turned back to her own team she couldn’t help but catch a glimpse of Bluecastle, high fiving each other, slapping each other’s backs and...smiling. Just like Karasuno, they seemed to be close, and have fun being in each other’s company. Quite frankly, it made her sick. In the midst of her quick glance two ghosts from her past happened to make eye contact. The joyous grins on their faces quickly disappearing. Kunimi turned his head away from her quickly to avoid the situation. Kindaichi lingered for about a beat too long, a pained expression on his face. Kageyama growled under her breath and stomped over to her team’s net to start warming up.

“Shrimpy! Did you get even shorter?!” Lev bounded up behind Hinata to pat her on the head and ruffle her already messy hair. She swatted his hand away, sputtering and turning red.  
“You can’t get shorter! That’s not how it works!” she argued, puffing out her cheeks.  
“Lev, I’m sure everyone looks like they’re getting shorter to you since you grow like fungus.” Kenma droned, cutting his eyes at his underclassman. Hinata stepped closer to Kenma, vibrating with excitement and stars in her eyes. Kenma, taken aback, averted his eyes but maintained a shy smile for his excitable friend.  
“Kenma-kun, who is your team facing first? I guess it isn’t my team cuz we’re on the other side of the gym.” Hinata asked expectantly. Kenma hesitated a moment, darting his eyes back and forth from Hinata to the ground to the ball over there back to Hinata and again at the ground.  
“Um...Johzenji high.” he finally answered.  
“Ooh! We played them before! They were really good! They were like ‘WHAM’ and ‘ZOOP’ and all like ‘PACHOW’! I wanna play them again!”  
“What about you?”  
Hinata paused, staring blankly for several seconds. “Uh...I don’t know…”  
“It looks like you’re going up against Date Tech first. You’re team is already warming up without you.” Kuroo chimed in, pointing over at the far left net with his thumb.  
“Oh cool! I get to face off against Aone-kun again!” Hinata beamed and jumped in place staring over at her team with determination in her eyes. Then her expression dropped slightly when she noticed a blank spot on the middle court were bluecastle was warming up.  
“Hey, who’s supposed to be playing bluecastle? Are they late?” Hinata asked no one in particular, anyone who could give her an answer really. Almost the entirety of the Nekoma team began snickering and/or groaning. Taketora stepped over and began slapping Kuroo on his back hard enough to shove his entire body.  
“That’d be Kuroo’s girlfriend’s team, Fukurodani.” Yaku teased from behind, earning snickers from Shibayama and Inuoka. Kuroo continued to hold his head high and take the teasing in stride, only a faint red blush creeping it’s way over his cheeks as he scratched the back of his head, combing through his bed hair anxiously.  
“Ok, well, I wouldn’t go so far as to say she’s my girlfriend...but yea.” he laughed and placed his hands on his hips confidently.  
“Oooh, I haven’t played them before! Are they strong?” Hinata now had a wondrous look in her eyes, trembling with anticipation. The boys around her groaned louder this time, rubbing the backs of their necks and avoiding eye contact.  
“Yeah...they’re pretty strong...it’s actually kinda scary sometimes.” Yaku explained in a more hushed tone.  
“They’re only scary to you cuz they’re all taller than you!” Lev teased him. His consequential ass kicking that followed was inevitable. Just as Lev was recovering from his beat down, and the others were beginning to get back into their concentration the doors to the gym slammed open. In walked the Fukurodani girls volleyball club, lead by their captain, sporting a killer game face, not unlike the rest of her team. Bluecastle paused their activities and looked over at their tardy opponents. Oikawa, as the captain immediately took it upon himself to waltz over and greet them accordingly. He ran his fingers through his hair quickly to give it one last volume boost and cleared his throat. Fukurodani, besides their captain ignored Oikawa’s advance and made their way to a spot where they could put down their stuff and start warm ups. As they walked by Oikawa could feel the train of vicious eyes boring into him, like predators sizing up their prey. He shook the eyes away and extended a hand towards his fellow captain.  
“Glad you could make it all the way here. I’m seijoh’s captain, Oikawa Tooru.” he paused looking straight into her eyes, flashing his most charming and endearing smile. “But you, lovely birdy, can call me Tooru-chan.”  
“Tooru-chan? That sounds like a cutesy girl idol name.” Oikawa’s smile strained a bit. Bokuto took his hand firmly and began to shake. “I’m Bokuto Koutarou, I’m looking forward to playing you, Princess Captain.” she laughed through her breath and broke off the handshake abruptly before turning and bounding over to the Nekoma net. Oikawa stood in place, a disgusted, irritated look on his face.  
“Ugh.”

“Hey, Kunimi, go run this sheet over to Karasuno so they know the order of matches.” Iwaizumi handed a printed timetable to Kunimi while he was lacing his shoes. Immediately after hearing “Karasuno” his face twisted in a morbid way. He sighed glancing over at the team. They didn’t look scary or anything, in fact they all looked incredibly friendly...most of them looked quite friendly. As long as he avoided a certain person there would be no issue. Rising to his feet he spotted the captain of the team made a direct path toward her. He walked calmly, keeping his cool and avoiding any unnecessary eye contact. He received a few swift glances, as was expected, as he walked by and up to Daichi, Sugawara, and Asahi. He held out the paper and gave a quick explanation of how it works, remaining respectful and even toned the entire time. It was easy. They listened well and were very polite right back. ‘Why can’t all girls be this agreeable?’ he thought for a split second before correcting himself. ‘No, she’d be the same even as a guy...I just don’t know which would be worse.’ Kunimi began walking back to the center court, so far without incident, but before he could make it out of Karasuno’s territory his right shoulder was struck, shaking him out of his thoughts. Looking down at what ran into him he saw Hinata, stumbling and waving her arms around at him.  
“Ah! S-sorry! I wasn’t watching where I was going!” she stammered apologetically, almost panicking before the significantly bigger player. Before he could say anything to her, an apology, or reassurance that it’s fine, a loud roaring voice called out in their direction.  
“Hinata! Get your ASS over here, dumbass!” Kageyama hurled a volleyball in their direction, missing the both of them. Hinata grumbled away and joined her team as Kageyama’s orders. Kunimi rolled his eyes, irritation swelling in his system at the awful shouting of his former teammate. Even after graduating and attending different schools, on different volleyball teams, the animosity was still there, and it still burned.  
“Nice to know you weren’t doing the bitch routine just for us, Medusa.” he mumbled under his breath as he continued to walk away. Or rather, he thought he mumbled under his breath. When a low, yet painfully venomous, “What was that?” invaded his ears and made him stop dead in his tracks. ‘Fuck.’ From the looks his teammates were giving him he must’ve had a look of pure terror written on his face, and every one of them knew why. He looked to Oikawa and Iwaizumi hoping they, as his, and formerly Kageyama’s, senpais would help him. Unfortunately, he was met with looks of pity before they turned their backs and pretended to busy with other things. Yahab had his hand covering his mouth daintily, eyes wide and unsure what to do. He wouldn’t be of any help. Kyoutani stood close by, gripping a volleyball firmly and seeming to be poking his nose in what was happening. Kindaichi- ‘No! I can’t involve him, that’ll make things 1000x worse! I’ll handle this quickly and as painlessly as possible, as long as he keeps to himself over there.’ Kunimi took in a deep breath and pivoted on his heel to face Kageyama. The look she was giving him could shatter glass and turn a man into stone. Fitting for her old nickname, Medusa. A shiver ran down Kunimi’s spine, he tried not to look directly at her, but if he showed any weakness it’d only be harder. He took another breath and raised his arms in surrender.  
“Nothing, Kageyama. I didn’t say anything.” he lied hoping she’d just let it go and not press further.  
“Then it looks like I’m not the only bitch on this court.” she replied in a biting tone that made Kunimi’s blood begin to heat up. He should just let it end there and walk away. She was allowing him to walk away without getting into a tussle. He clicked his tongue and turned on this heel again to leave as quickly as possible, however fate had other plans. As soon as he turned he was faced directly with Kindaichi, now in the same danger zone as he was, and looking like he has intentions of finishing something that hadn’t even really started. Kunimi dragged a hand over his face and accepted his fate when he heard Kageyama growl and begin to stomp over.  
“What? You got something to say, too?” she hissed, staring Kindaichi down like she wasn’t several inches shorter.  
“Let’s not start anything we can’t finish here, Kageyama. Go back to your side of the court.” he tried to sound firm and assertive in the face of such a formidable demon, but Kunimi and likely Kageyama, could hear the slight tremble in his voice, most likely from trying to contain his voice to a moderate level. His fists were balled at his sides and shaking, his shoulders back and chest puffed out to make himself look bigger, as if he’d forgotten that Kageyama is several inches shorter than him.  
“Okay, first of all, If you ever tell me what to do again will literally. KILL YOU.” this caught the attention of more spectators who would look over at the scene happening but then immediately turn away as to not get involved. “Secondly,” she continued. “I didn’t start anything, you literal ass! So why don’t you go back to your court!”  
“You have no reason to be so angry at me!” Kindaichi shouted at her, now letting the full on emotion and rage flow out.  
“I have several reasons to be angry at a long list of people!”  
“Look just calm down, I’m sorry for what I said, I take it back.” Kunimi tried to stop the storm before it could rain holding out a “calming” hand toward Kageyama and speaking as even toned and sensible as possible.  
“Kunimi, I swear to God same goes for you, tell me what to do one more FUCKING time! I dare you!” she snapped at him, her face growing red from her growing anger, veins pulsing out on her forehead.  
“I’m just saying, we don’t have to blow this out of proportion.” he kept his calming tone and level head, but it had zero affect on the already fuming Kageyama.  
“You know what just shut up! I honestly can’t fucking stand you! I never could and I still can’t! To this day I still don’t know what position you play because when we played together the only thing I remember you doing was getting on my nerves!” At this the other teams couldn’t help but start to watch and listen. The scattered chatter and sounds of balls and sneakers muted and was replaced with hushed murmurs and the sound of an erupting volcano meeting two steady wind storms.  
“Well the only thing I remember you doing is yelling and being a major bitch!” Kindaichi retorted in defense of Kunimi. Regardless of if it was in his defense, Kunimi shook his head and began to silently pray that they got out of this in one piece.  
“Oh yeah of course, I’m a major bitch because you all sucked and wouldn’t do shit unless I yelled it at you! Every single one of you assholes make me understand more and more why murders and serial killers do what they do, because I seriously wanted to slice someone’s throat 100% of the time.”  
“Kageyama I really do think you’re exaggerating. I know we never got along well before but-” before Kunimi could finish his sentence Kageyama cut him off.  
“Didn’t get along well?” she questioned incredulously and leaned in closer, narrowing her eyes. “I fucking hated you! All you ever do is complain and act like you’re smarter than everyone around you. News flash, Kunimi, just because you got the highest grade on the 3rd year midterm doesn’t mean you’re a fucking genius! You still only got a 78! Just accept that you’re painfully average and take your pitiful ass back to kiss up to your reckless ass-captain!” Kageyama violently pointed over to Oikawa who jolted and began to growl in her direction, but refrained from intervening.  
“I hate those words…” Kunimi mumbled, growing significantly more annoyed.  
“And I hate you! But even after all that there’s still someone that I hate even more!”  
“It’s Oikawa-san, isn’t it?” Kindaichi suggested, knowing the answer already. Oikawa and Kageyama have had a strained relationship since day 1, so it’s no surprise-  
“It’s you dipshit! Out of all the brainless, pathetic assholes on that damn team you happen to be the only one I’ve literally contemplated murdering! I even searched for a spot to hide your gargantuan body!” Kindaichi fell silent, his mouth agape, eyes blown wide.  
“Wh-” he started, completely shocked and growing mixed emotions, mostly anger. “Why?! What did I ever do to you?” he pleaded with her to explain but she was far from finished in the first place.  
“First of all, just looking at you is making me dizzy! Either bend down or lay down! It isn’t even as if you’re “too tall”, I don’t know why you physically make me sick, but you do so I hate you!” she paused. Kindaichi opened his mouth to reply but was cut off. “Don’t fucking say anything, just hearing your voice makes me wanna shove razor blades in my ears! You have to be the absolute dumbest piece of shit I have ever had the displeasure of meeting! And that’s coming from me! I’ve never gotten a grade in the single digits before on a test, and I’m sick of your stupid ass! Having to deal with you for three years honestly shortened my lifespan and I think killed some of the few braincells I have that work, so thanks a lot, your chronic idiocy may as well have given me cancer! And you run like a constipated old lady! I tried to ignore your violent awkwardness but nothing get’s on my nerves more than watching you try to run! Then again, the only thing you ever do seem to run is your fucking mouth because you never shut up! You always have something to say and ten times out of ten it’s something stupid and pointless and a waste of fucking time! I’ve literally never met a more annoying human being in my life and I’m willing to bet money you and Kunimi are only friends because he keeps you from swallowing small objects and you allow him to go through life without a personality! And then there’s the icing on the shitty cake! You actually, wholeheartedly believed that back then in year 3 our team would do better without me on it…” there it was. The thing everyone from that past expected to hear. Oikawa and Iwaizumi kept their attention on their three juniors. Kunimi and Kindaichi’s expressions softened slightly at the mention of that time, but remained irate nonetheless. They didn’t think a time would come where they would actually talk about it. Thinking back they don’t regret what they did. It made a huge mess sure, but it wouldn’t have been any better if they hadn’t. Still...All this hate and rage spewing from Kageyama before them started to make a little more sense.  
“I know it sucked to have that happen to you, Kageyama. It’s not like we wanted to hurt you…” Kunimi started.  
“Oh it hurt alright.” her voice had no tone shift. Her words were still laced and covered with venom and malice. “But what really hurt was my head after bashing it into a wall after seeing you horde of chucklefucks completely forget how to play volleyball while I was on the bench!” Kunimi and Kindaichi recoiled inwardly. The memory of that game was still uncomfortably fresh in their minds. Without a setter they had to call on someone from the reserve to fill in. She had absolutely no experience in a real game and constantly overshot her tosses, not to mention she couldn’t receive for shit. “It still just blows my mind that you really thought, not only that you could win, but that you’d be better off without me, when obviously none of you dipshits could even pull off a simple quick without me there! I mean, seriously? You looked almost as bad as Hinata’s ragtag team of grade schoolers we played first!”  
“Oh come on! You weren’t even there for the whole time, you left in the middle of the third set!” Kindaichi argued, sounding a lot less angry and more defensive.  
“Yea, so I could go throw-up! The thing I hate about you above all other things, and there are a lot of things, is that you gained so much confidence from our winning streak that you decided that you could win without THE ONLY SETTER ON OUR FUCKING TEAM! And you STILL don’t see why you guys lost so miserably! And I can’t even place all the blame on you for being a moron because everyone else agreed with it! So yea, I guess our entire team was full of half baked mouth breathers and you thrived off of that! What’s it like being on a team of people who actually have brains, Kindaichi? Is it nice knowing you won’t have to be doing any heavy thinking? Just picturing you trying to think is giving me a migraine! So you know what, there! THAT’S all the reasons why I hate you so fucking much! And if you ever forget why, just record yourself having a conversation with anyone and then play it back, because it’s all right there!” Kageyama huffed and puffed, face red, out of breath. Her fists were balled tightly at her sides, trembling, and her chest heaving as she caught her breath. The gym was absolutely silent.  
“Ya know being this mean to people is probably why you’re so flat chested.” a collective gasp washed over the silent gymnasium, people covering their mouths as to not laugh out loud, hiding their ear to ear grinning faces and stifling stubborn snickers, when suddenly the sea of hushed giggles and “oh snaps” turned into a booming chorus of “OOOOOOOOHHHHH!” accompanied by high pitched screeches and hollers. Kageyama had viciously jabbed Kindaichi in his abdomen hard enough to double him over, coughing and gagging on spit and air and pain. As he folded over just below her height a thunderous, echoing, SMACK reverbed against the walls of the gymnasium. Kindaichi practically flew to the left, not able to catch himself with his feet or arms he slammed onto the ground. Mouths hung open, eyes bulging, hands fluttering not knowing whether to scream, laugh, or run for the hills, the entire gym stood frozen. Kindaichi laid on the ground, face down, unmoving. Seconds went by without him even so much as twitching. Kunimi stared down at him shaking in place, arms raised in surrender. Suddenly loud stomping footsteps broke the silence and before she could react Kageyama was restrained by Daichi, arms held together so she couldn’t struggle, and dragged off to the far other side of the gym.  
“Ahem…” Oikawa cleared his throat and tried to make his voice sound more steady. His skin was pale and his eyes were wide with pin sized pupils. “Ah, we’ll be postponing the matches for another 15 minutes…” As he finished his sentence Iwaizumi was already rolling Kindaichi over on his back, lightly slapping his face to see if he’d respond. He was out cold. From a few meters away Matsukawa and Hanamaki were huddled together chuckling at their phones and typing fervently. Oikawa nosily looked over Hanamaki’s shoulder to see that the both of them had taken pictures of what just transpired. Matsukawa got a perfect shot of Kageyama’s inition gut punch while Hanamaki got a perfectly blurred shot of the slap and the initial point when Kindaichi began to lift off the ground. “Send me those…”

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I understand that canonically Kageyama actually did learn something from that experience and grew and tried to apologize and whatnot but I just thought it'd be funny if maybe they just...didn't and held the biggest prettiest grudge ever XD idk this was just for fun


End file.
